Adoption–Where Do I Start?

Recently, a woman I’ll call Jamie*, stopped by our Your First Look mobile unit for a free pregnancy test and ultrasound. She’d done a home test and it was positive. She wanted an ultrasound to confirm that she was indeed pregnant.  She already had two children and said she couldn’t handle one more. Adoption wasn’t an option she told us. But she wasn’t sure how she felt about having an abortion either.

The ultrasound showed she had a viable pregnancy. We talked to Jamie about all of her options–abortion, adoption, and parenting. We talked about the resources that could help her. And we invited her to come back if she wanted to talk some more.

Jamie did come back a few weeks later. She had an abortion scheduled for that afternoon, but she was still feeling uncertain. We talked for a long time about her options. A week later she called back and wanted to know more about adoption. After more conversations, Jamie decided to make an adoption plan for her child. She has since chosen an adoption agency and a family. She wanted her advocate from Your First Look to be part of the process and chose to meet the family at our offices.

Adoption isn’t for everyone.

But it can be a great option for women who know they aren’t able to be a parent at this time in their life, but who are uncomfortable with abortion.

One of the great things about Your First Look is that it is a safe place to explore your options. No one is going to judge you for whatever decision you make and that includes adoption. I remember about three years ago a young woman who came to see us and who was so relieved when we brought up adoption as an option. She was so afraid we were going to look down on her if she chose adoption.

Your First Look is not an adoption agency. But we can help you take those first steps to safely explore adoption. We have books and workbooks you can read and journal in as you think through your options. We can give you names of adoption agencies and attorneys who do adoptions. We are also willing to set up meetings for you in our office with any agencies or attorneys you’d like to talk with. And, if you’d like, your advocate at Your First Look can sit in on those meetings with you as your support person.

Meeting with an agency or attorney does not mean you are being forced to go through with an adoption. As a matter of fact you can’t make that final decision on an adoption until at least three days after the baby is born.

We can answer your questions about adoption.

When you meet with your Your First Look advocate she can answer any questions you have about adoption. For example, did you know that you can decide how open or closed the adoption will be? You can also select your child’s family and choose to meet them or not.

Your advocate can also help you with the words to use as you share an adoption decision with your family and friends. Not everyone is going to agree with whatever decision you make. Your advocate can help empower you to be firm as you share your decision.

One of our moms recently shared that making an adoption plan was the most difficult decision she has ever made. It is also the one she is most proud of. “I’m really grateful that Angie* and Mike* are in my life and that I chose them to parent my daughter,” she said. “They were there for me throughout my pregnancy. Because I made an adoption plan, I was able to finish school and get to see my daughter happy and healthy with her family.”

*Name changed